You can Google and find the two most common explanations for the origin of ‘Til Tuesday’s ‘Voices Carry’ (here and here).  I’ve had a few musicians tell me that a song’s meaning should never be revealed, never quite as sweetly eloquently as “magicians should never reveal their secrets, should they?”  I would agree with that and also add that how you read a song’s lyrics and how they make you feel are influenced by your own experiences.

Two years after my father died, I took myself to see a therapist for the first time.  I knew his death hit me hard.  I read books on grief, but I often felt numb inside and didn’t know what to do.  Intellectually, I knew his death was affecting my daily life, I felt I didn’t have anyone I could turn to, and I wanted to take the appropriate action to help myself.  Therapy was at least worth a shot. 

I had a very clear idea in my head when I started therapy that I did not want to play the blame game.  Further, I was doing this for me.  I knew I was going to get flak about it from my mother.  There is a huge stigma in Chinese and Asian cultures around getting help for mental health.  It’s considered an admission of weakness if you have to go for help outside of yourself for your problems and worse, your family will lose face if the word gets out about it.  This concern about showing weakness also offers a good explanation to why there are far fewer divorces among Asian couples compared to their Causasian counterparts.

It would be some years later that I recognized this as akin to the British stiff upper lip.  I first saw in my first serious boyfriend and then again and again in friends and many of the men I’d meet and become friends with through my travels for There Goes the Fear.  My friends in Delphic and Everything Everything got involved early on in supporting the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM).  After absorbing the stark statistic that suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in Britain, I felt a moral obligation to do something and started writing for CALM.

Today’s song is one I’ve sat with many a time because I felt Aimee Mann’s emotionally brutal lyrics spoke to me, but for much of my life, I never really understood why.  I remember having a conversation with my second therapist about the definition of trauma.  I had always assumed that trauma meant physical trauma, like sexual abuse or a soldier’s PTSD following an injury in the field.  I hadn’t considered mental trauma.  It took another 4 years and a painful falling out with a friend’s mother for me to come to terms with what I must have known subconsciously.  I was a child victim of emotional abandonment.  Like the clouds above me had parted, I then understood why today’s song left a lasting impact on me.  It was as if my parents had placed imaginary tape over my mouth when I was a child.  I did not feel safe telling them how I truly felt about anything outside of school or grades.  They didn’t seem to care about anything else.  

Many years later, when I met parents of bands and musicians who I helped promote through TGTF, I saw how proud they were of their children and their artistic efforts.  I would smile at them, but a part of me would die inside as I contemplated that as a child or even a young woman, I never got any of that support.  Therapy got me to the point where I was able to force myself out of my comfort zone and into the world, putting myself in social situations that were required for the Editor-in-Chief of an influential music website.  I did these things for me. TGTF helped me come out of my shell.  I finally had a voice.  My own voice.  A voice that I know made a difference.

I also wanted to feature this song here on Music in Notes because there has been a dramatic rise in domestic abuse during the COVID-19 pandemic due to the lockdowns because the abused are now having to shelter in place with their abuser.  If you or someone you know need help, the National Domestic Violence Hotline is a good resource to start with.  Just having to type this paragraph is making me tearful.  Please, please reach out and get help if you need it.  You may not feel this, but you have a voice.  There is someone out there who will listen.

Title: ‘Voices Carry’
Where to find it: ‘Voices Carry’ single and album (1985, Epic)
Performed by: ‘Til Tuesday
Words by: Aimee Mann

Verse 1
In the dark, I’d like to read his mind
But I’m frightened of the things I might find
Oh there must be something he’s thinking of
To tear him away, ay, ay
When I tell him that I’m falling in love
Why does he say

Chorus
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry

Verse 2
I try so hard not to get upset
Because I know all the trouble I’ll get
Oh he tells me tears are something to hide
And something to fear
And I try so hard to keep it inside
So no one can hear

Chorus
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry

Bridge
He wants me
But only part of the time
He wants me
If he can keep me in line

Chorus
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry
Hush hush
Keep it down now
Voices carry

Outro
He said shut up, he said shut up
Oh God, can’t you keep it down
Voices carry
Voices carry
I wish he would let me talk