Missing England

Essay, , ,

I had a really nice time on my part “work” for TGTF / part holiday in England a couple weeks ago. It was pretty shocking to me when I was at work this past week and I was looking at my desk calendar, realising that I’d been in Manchester a month prior. Oh, England. Why do you have to be so far away? ::sighs::

Is it funny, or is it weird? I have been thinking about some of the things that happened that I did not expect, or things that I had planned on doing that didn’t work out. Just weeks prior, I’d been spending too much time thinking about how I probably shouldn’t go at all, but I am so glad I changed my mind. I was in Manchester for 4 whole days and the only time it was raining was on the train into Manchester Piccadilly from the airport. Meanwhile back home, DC was getting flooded, with a rainbow array of flash flood alerts and warnings colouring my phone, which was still receiving weather reports from back home. Somehow I managed to refrain from taking a smug selfie in the middle of sunny Piccadilly Gardens to send back to the home office.

Anfield was amazing: it was the best decision ever to visit before the craziness of the Liverpool Sound City music festival. It was quite surreal being stood in the middle of a stadium in that great city; it looks so small in person but it was always so big when I’d seen matches on tv. It was even better in full sunlight! I suppose like any good Liverpool FC supporter who is an “artiste” (I use that phrase very loosely), I should do some writing inspired by my visit. I might just do. Words are flowing out of me now; whatever was stopping me before is now gone.

I was disappointed in not connecting with some people, but I made so many new friends and saw so many bands live at Sound City that blew my mind, all the disappointments were wiped clean from the slate. I interviewed several bands we’d been writing about on TGTF and it was wonderful to finally meet in person the people behind the music who we’ve wanted to promote. Everyone I had a conversation with on this trip was super kind and courteous and made me feel so welcome. I feel very blessed for that.

The worst part for me about coming back from England is different than what most people feel like when they return from their skiing or beach holidays. I have to leave behind people I love and the brilliant experiences I can have only in that country. It’s like having to wrench out a part of my heart that I can’t have back until the next time I am over. Probably the strangest part of this return is knowing that the only connection I have to the bands I write about, especially if they are British, is through listening to their music until they are able to play in America.

Next weekend, I’ll be going out to Philadelphia with another one of the TGTF contributors to see my friends Little Comets, who I haven’t seen since last summer when they came to Washington. (It was my best gig of 2013 too!) I’m looking forward to that show but it’s not the same as seeing them in England, is it? But, not complaining! (It appears the Philadelphia vs. DC battle for British bands still exists, unfortunately. I guess I need to get out more and do a hell lot more live reviews like I was doing when I first started…my body’s not going to like that, ha.)

On the most perfect sunny day in London, I had a nice afternoon meet-up with a friend and probably the most famous professional contact I have in the city, then walked around Hyde Park truly feeling like I was walking on air. I’d finally gotten the kind of respect and validation I’d been searching so long for. I can now really see myself living in London. I’d spent a year feeling underappreciated and beaten down, and in past times visiting, the City left me cold and was entirely unwelcome.

This time though, I have to thank friends new and old for making this past trip filled with such good memories and giving me a spring in my step. I have the tendency to put all my eggs in one basket – I guess it’s because I’ve come from the school of hard knocks, so once something positive happens, I always think, “this time, it’s got to be real” – but I am feeling the best I have in 4 years and quite positive. Which can only be a good thing, yeah?

Manchester Rain

Poetry,

I once cried, half-drunk, in the Manchester rain,
alone and afraid, but you didn’t feel the same.
The slightest touch, and your voice drove me insane;
my heart would flutter every time you’d call my name.

Now I return, to the city that was ours:
the Manchester I once knew, unyielding and hard
now filled with smiling people, laughing in bars.
My heart, no longer full, is no longer scarred.

– MLC, 24 April 2014

Song Analysis #34: The Wombats – Walking Disasters

Song Analysis, , , , , , ,

Title: ‘Walking Disasters’
Where to find it: ‘The Wombats Proudly Present This Modern Glitch’ (2011, 14th Floor Records [UK], Bright Antenna [US])
Performed by: The Wombats
Words by: Matthew “Murph” Murphy

Matthew “Murph” Murphy of the Wombats has been through a lot. It’s often said that artists have to suffer for their art. I’d argue that in Murph’s case, we’re lucky enough that he’s willing to share his experiences with us, from self-doubt to letting go and having a good time out with mates, from depression to the euphoria of being in love. In an interview with a magazine produced by CALM that I’m a contributor to, Murph chatted with our editor Rachel Clare about his battle with depression and his decision to give up anti-depressants, which ultimately led to the writing of the single ‘Anti-D’. ‘Anti-D’ seemed way too obvious of a choice for Music in Notes, so I’ve chosen something else.

I found their 2011 album ‘The Wombats Proudly Present: This Modern Glitch’ particularly strong in its songwriting, taking Murph’s often introspective and often dark lyrics and pairing it with the kind of pop melody others only wish they could come up with. It spawned several well-performing singles including ‘Tokyo (Vampires and Wolves)’ and ‘Jump in the Fog’. But for today’s analysis, I’ve chosen a less obvious track from the LP to chew on.

First, the words:

Verse 1
She used to get her kicks from a fall to the floor
But now she’s always wasted
A total looker, but she’s jaded
The kind of shivering wreck that I adore
I can’t offer you a rescue
I can tell you what I’d do

Pre-chorus
I’d tell my mother that I love her dearly
And tell my father that I need him back again
And if these words won’t drop from your lips
I will be your Freudian slip

Chorus
And flowers might wilt when we walk past
And self-help might help when it makes us laugh
Only finding questions in answers
You and I are just walking disasters
You and I are just walking disasters
You and I are just walking disasters

Verse 2
She only finds her love in a downtown score (store?)
Consumption makes her stronger
She’s the sweetest anaconda
The kind of lack of respect that I adore
I can’t offer you a rescue
But when you’ve lost all that you have left to lose

Pre-chorus
I’d tell my mother that I love her dearly
And tell my father that I need him back again
And if these words won’t drop from your lips
I will be your Freudian slip

Bridge
As sharp as a knife and as blunt as a wheel
You be my calm, I’ll be your pneumatic drill
And what we’ll never want, we’ll always need
Right now we need some pop psychology
To keep us upbeat

Pre-chorus
So tell your mother that you love her dearly
And tell your father you won’t lock him out again
And if these words won’t drop from your lips
I will be your Freudian slip

Chorus
And flowers might wilt when we walk past
And self-help might help when it makes us laugh
Only finding questions in answers
You and I are just walking disasters
You and I are just walking disasters
You and I are just walking disasters

Now, the analysis:

‘Walking Disasters’ is about coming of age and coming to a point of your maturity when you’re recognising your own bad habits as well as what you yourself can do in life to make changes for the better. The title is typical Murph self-deprecation, calling himself and his girl / friend “walking disasters”, as if every waking moment they live is in a cartoon world and every action farcical.

In verse 1, every single transcription I’ve seen online makes the first line out to be “She used to get her kicks from a fall to the floor”; I had always assumed it was “She used to get her kicks from the four to the floor”, as if the girl he’s speaking of was a dance music fan who used to go to raves. But maybe that’s just me and my synth-loving tendencies. Admittedly, with the words reading as “fall to the floor”, it’s more poignant, as if he’s watching her like a bystander to a train wreck. He wants to do something while she makes a fool out of herself, but he knows he can’t because he is every bit of a human catastrophe as she is.

He is sympathetic to her: “The kind of shivering wreck that I adore”; I find that particularly nice, as it’s usually us women who are doing the mothering in relationships, not the other way around. No, he’s being brotherly or even fatherly, noting she’s “a total looker” but what a shame “now she’s always wasted”. He’s also mature enough to recognise that even when she is sober and realises the error of her ways and what a mess she really is, it’s not his place to be that grounding influence for her and to take her on as a project. He offers up advice instead.

I’d tell my mother that I love her dearly
And tell my father that I need him back again
And if these words won’t drop from your lips
I will be your Freudian slip

In the pre-chorus, he offers up that surprisingly mature advice to a youngster that maybe you should listen to your parents and tell them that you love them, even if you grew up rebelling against all their rules. In a second and the final version of the pre-chorus, Murph sings, “And tell your father you won’t lock him out again”, which makes it sound like the girl comes from a broken home and her parents are divorced. I’m not entirely sure what “I will be your Freudian slip” means: Freudian slips are accidental slips of the tongue, and since he’s refusing to take her on permanently as a girlfriend (he has admitted he’s every bit of a screw-up as she is, so he can’t handle the responsibility), maybe he means they’re okay as accidental lovers?

And flowers might wilt when we walk past
And self-help might help when it makes us laugh
Only finding questions in answers
You and I are just walking disasters

The chorus strikes me as extremely witty, as does the later bridge. They’re going through life extremely jaded about what is up ahead for them (“flowers might wilt when we walk past”) and self-help is a joke (it “might” only “help when it makes us laugh”). Those are pretty immature, childish ways of thinking. But “only finding questions in answers, you and I are just walking disasters” allows the narrator to come to some conclusion, even if it’s not a perfect one. And I think that’s exactly the point: we are not perfect. As Morrissey sang in ‘The Youngest Was the Most Loved’, “there is no such thing as normal”. Questioning the answers and not just questioning authority (teenage rebellion) indicates personal growth and maturity.

In verse 2, more lyric confusion. Is it “She only finds her love in a downtown score”, as in getting drugs and getting high, or “She only finds her love in a downtown store”, she’s an incurable shopaholic? The next lines, “Consumption makes her stronger / She’s the sweetest anaconda”, seem to suggest the former. Even the use of the word ‘anaconda’ is very telling that another reason he can’t be with her is that she can be a snake at times. Ha!

As sharp as a knife and as blunt as a wheel
You be my calm, I’ll be your pneumatic drill
And what we’ll never want, we’ll always need
Right now we need some pop psychology
To keep us upbeat

The bridge is the other height of Murph’s droll humour here. “As sharp as a knife and as blunt as a wheel / You be my calm, I’ll be your pneumatic drill”: they are complete opposites, and even more confusingly, he’s given her the role of being the calm one while he’s the one wreaking havoc, which is the opposite of what we assumed he was at the start of the song: the voice of reason watching his friend get into trouble yet again on a bad night. “And what we’ll never want, we’ll always need” is a classic refrain from psychologists who bemoan modern society’s desires for things when they’re not needed, but lesser evolved humans can’t control their willpower and can’t tell the difference. “Right now we need some pop psychology / To keep us upbeat” is like saying to go turn on MTV and get all excited watching some stupid top 40 video that means absolutely nothing. He knows that is not the cure-all, even if when we were younger we certainly were encouraged to believe that by our peers and even by society itself.

A simple pop song? Hardly.

Lastly, the song, in stream form, as the song was never released as a single.