All posts by Mary Chang

Update: “I wanted words…but all I heard was nothing.” Apologies!

(quote in title stolen from ‘Nothing’)

I feel extremely bad about having left Music in Notes without a post in over 2 months, but I have my reasons. TGTF’s lead-up to going out to Austin for South by Southwest (SXSW) took up a lot of my time and energy, as it necessitated weeks of preparation before we even set foot in Texas. I can hardly believe it, really, that it was my fourth time going. All the prep work paid off, as we saw more bands and interviewed more acts than ever while at the event. Post-Austin when I returned to DC, intensive writing, photo editing, correspondence, and whatnot commenced. But it’s all done now, all 153 SXSW 2015 articles – previews, pre-festival Q&As with bands, interviews, features, and festival day and evening round-ups – were submitted by the start of April to SXSW Music, and I can breathe again!

While all of this was going on, I developed a strange pain in my hip that stopped my usual exercise regime in its tracks. After 8 weeks’ plus of physical therapy, I’m in a lot better shape than I was and stronger, and I’m glad for that. I’m not the most relaxed person in the world anyway – I prefer being a busy bee and incredibly productive because my mind usually doesn’t stop thinking and dreaming, and when I’m forced to slow down or stop, I pine – so it was a reminder that I’m always a work in progress.

I came home one afternoon the week I started physio feeling physically shattered while emotionally crushed that I was, years later again, dealing with physical pain from an unknown cause. I flicked through some channels on tv before settling on what looked like a live performance on a German language channel. It was Irish pop band the Script, playing at some European club, probably around the same time I saw them myself the first time in DC 5 years ago. I was a very different person then. For one, when I saw them play, it had been a few days after I’d gotten my heart broken badly, and really, no one else could have done in the moment but them. Needless to say, ‘Breakeven’ was a mainstay of my playlist for the weeks and months after, as I tried to figure how the hell we’d gone wrong, crying my eyes out as I poked at the bass notes of the song on my guitar.

And then I looked at the time and date on the channel guide on my tv. Is it really Valentine’s week again? Oh no. Just no. Not another Valentine’s Day alone… I don’t do lonely very well.

I have a draft for my analysis of ‘Breakeven’ sat in WordPress this very minute, but I never got around to finishing it, as I was too preoccupied in my melancholy at the time. I might complete it in the future, but I’m not holding my breath. It seemed as soon as our SXSW 2015 coverage was finished, I was asked to contribute preview coverage for Live at Leeds 2015, including a list of personal recommendations I was asked to produce within 24 hours of being given the schedule. I could have said no. I could have said I was too tired, too busy, too lazy to get it done. All of those answers would have been easy, right?

But it wouldn’t have felt right for me to say them. When I was in Austin this year, I was surprised and stunned when my friends in high places – the BBC’s Steve Lamacq, in particular – were going around telling all their friends how important I was to the British music scene. Lammo would introduce me as “this is Mary, our best American champion of British music we have…” and I had to stop myself from fainting. It just didn’t seem real. Steve Lamacq, whose own voice I have listened to on the radio for so many years, the person who I’ve counted on for directing me towards so many great bands…this same STEVE LAMACQ is saying these lovely things about me?

withLammoSXSW15sm

Looking back, maybe I shouldn’t have been so surprised. Maybe this has just been a long time coming and it wasn’t until March 2015 that I would be recognised for all my hard work? That’s how it feels, so I’m sticking with that theory. The praise heaped on me by Steve, Vic Galloway, and Huw Stephens, and by countless others in a band or in PR and management, meant so much to me. It was proof I was no longer that little girl from the suburbs who avoided making phone calls or making eye contact with other people because she was too shy, nor the awkward teenager with low self-esteem who assumed her whole life after university was going to spent in front of a lonely laboratory bench and that was all there was to life.

My time in Austin and the amazing experiences I had there renewed my faith in what I’ve been doing for the last 6 years and my commitment to what I do with TGTF. My singing and musician days of my childhood are in the past now of course but fuelled by this recent encouragement, I’m really looking forward to the next phase of my writing career, wherever it takes me.

In particular, the insightful conversations I had at SXSW with three up-and-coming electronic artists – Will Doyle (East India Youth), Gunsal Moreno (beGun), and Ryan L. West (Rival Consoles) – have given me more motivation to ratchet up my support of electronic music. Women are criminally underrepresented in the genre, which may explain partially but not completely why most electronic shows of the less pop variety are attended by mostly men. I haven’t figured yet what I’m going to do yet, but I want and have to think of something. Watch this space…

But here is the real purpose of this post. I wanted to write to you all, as although I will contribute further song interpretation and analyses in the near future, I anticipate my time to do so to be limited in the next 2 months because of a new commitment. I have signed on to a very involved writing project for my new German friend Hendrik Jasnoch’s Web site One Week // One Band. I was “introduced” to him and his Tumblr site’s premise last year when I was asked by a fan to answer a series of questions about my role in the media and as a long-time supporter of Sheffield band The Crookes, whose Daniel Hopewell some of you may know was the first champion of Music in Notes.

You’re probably wondering why I agreed to take another – and major – writing project when I barely have the free time, never mind the sanity, to do both TGTF and MiN on top of my normal waking Real Life. Well, the quick answer is relatively simple and three-fold:

1. I didn’t think a detailed analysis of this particular band made sense here on MiN. Judging from the questioning looks I get from friends’ faces and the derision (from mocking to serious) I get when I tell them I’m a massive fan of this band, I take it that it might not go all that well here,

2. Based on #1 above, I wanted to pose the challenge to myself to prove to everyone reading when it’s my turn on Hendrik’s site that this band was worthy of all the accolades I have showered them with, and

3. I wanted a way to thank them (even if it was done virtually) for what they’ve given to me. I had hoped to be able to personally thank them, but an interview with their primary songwriter that had been promised to me as editor of TGTF a couple years ago sadly fell through. This is my chance to do some long-awaited thanking that is far overdue. When the time comes, I’ll direct you all to that week of writing and I hope you’ll have a read.

Until next time, stay sweet.

M x

Song Analysis #47: Lewis Watson – Stay

Title: ‘Stay’
Where to find it: ‘The Morning’ (2014, Warner)
Performed by: Lewis Watson
Words by: Lewis Watson

Most of the time, I’m not a singer/songwriter type of girl. The thought of a man (or woman for that matter) sat atop a stool with a guitar and a microphone makes me want to go to sleep. As I have mentioned in previous analyses including the last one with a song also written by someone from Oxfordshire, I tend to be hypercritical of singing voices due to my previous vocal training. Sometimes I will get stuck, having to stomach a band if I like their instrumentation and songs but I’m not entirely fond of the lead singer’s vocals. But when it comes to the singer/songwriter genre, there is nothing left besides the voice and the guitar (or the occasional piano). There is nowhere to hide. When I find someone in this genre whose voice and songs I love, it is a wonderful but highly rare occurrence.

Enter the 22-year old Lewis Watson. He doesn’t look the part of pop star, yet he’s got young girls screaming at him every night. Why is this so? The man (I keep wanting to type “boy” because he’s incredibly young) writes a good song. And considering how old he is, it’s dumfounding what a rich voice he has. As far as I’m concerned, everyone should just step aside and let him do his thing.

I met Lewis 2 months ago when he played a show in Washington and he was just the sweetest guy! But because of an enormous queue of fans wanting to say hi and get photos with him, it was impossible to have a real conversation with him. Had we, I would have asked him about this song, because it stirred up a lot of emotions in me, and it seems to have at least two interpretations (in my mind anyway) and that’s another reason why I think it’s so beautiful. I’m hoping to have my chance to talk to him again sometime soon. Fingers crossed.

According to famed psychiatrist Carl Jung, dreams are a way of communicating and acquainting yourself with the unconscious. Dreams are not attempts to conceal your true feelings from the waking mind, but rather they are a window to your unconscious. They serve to guide the waking self to achieve wholeness and offer a solution to a problem you are facing in your waking life.

When I’m sleeping, I dream A LOT. Or at least I remember a lot, and a lot of little itty bitty details. Supposedly we all dream, it’s just only a small subset of the human population remembers what has happened in them. I always have a notepad and pen near my bed in case I’m woken up by dreams or nightmares; I tend to have very vivid, Technicolor dream sequences, often involving people I know in real life, so if I have a particularly vivid one that shakes me awake, I want to be able to write it all down and often I’ll use it for poetic inspiration. I had been thinking to analyse this song for some time and then last week one night, I had this beautiful dream about being in Oxford and considered that it was my cue to get working on it.

First, the words:

Verse 1
When I close my eyes I hear you singing,
singing me a song that I’ll forget,
I always forget.
I try to trick myself back to sleeping.
You pick me up, but I let you down.

Chorus
It was so clear but now it’s gone,
I couldn’t keep my eyelids shut.
Why can’t you stay?
Stay…stay…
If only I could dream we could start again.
If only I could dream we could start again.
Ooohhh… oooh…

Verse 2
When I close my eyes I see you dancing,
dancing me a song,
just out of reach, just out of reach.
I need you in the day when I’m not dreaming.
You pick me up, I don’t wanna let you down.

Chorus
It was so clear but now it’s gone,
I couldn’t keep my eyelids shut.
Why can’t you stay?
Stay…stay…
If only I could dream we could start again.
If only I could dream we could start again.
Ooohhh… oooh…

Chorus (extended outro version, starting with first two lines spoken)
It was so clear but now it’s gone,
I couldn’t keep my eyelids shut.
Why can’t you stay?
Stay…stay…stay
If only I could dream we could start again.
Stay…
If only I could dream we could start again.
Stay…
If only I could dream we could start again.
If only I could dream we could start again.

Now, the analysis:

I’ll start this analysis a bit differently than the others: if you wish to now, scroll down to the bottom of this post to watch the promo video for ‘Stay’. I’ll be honest, it took me a bit to sort of register what was going on in the video and how it tied into the lyrics of the song. The video offers what I’ll call the alternate interpretation of the song. If you’d rather wait until you finish reading this whole article, that’s fine too.

At first, I approached ‘Stay’ as a typical torch song: something went wrong in a relationship, and the man is looking back at everything that’s happened, wanting to reboot the relationship to the beginning and start over. This is probably how most everyone who likes/loves this song views it, and that’s perfectly fine and great: ‘Stay’ is beautiful on its own like this, with Watson’s voice soaring, full of emotion and heartbreak.

But the more I thought about ‘Stay’ – admittedly, after playing this song over and over and OVER again on my headphones – the more it seemed like an onion. After all those replays, I was able to peel off other layers of onion skin to expose more meaning, which made it all the more amazing to me. On a personal level, it spoke directly to me: I go to bed at night with the purpose of getting rest, but instead my unconscious and subconscious go to work, as I head into dreams about people and places I know. Sometimes I’m haunted for days, for weeks by what I see. It can be people, images, actions, or a combination of all three that make an impression on me. Sometimes I’m jolted awake by what I’ve witnessed and start crying from the mixed emotions of realising I’m awake: I’ll be happy if I was able to stop a nightmare. But I’ll be inconsolable if I woke up before something I’ve wanted was allowed to come to fruition and I have no closure about what happens next. The days when I have dreams that shake me to my core, those are the days it’s tough to be me.

The most literal interpretation of ‘Stay’ I offer above requires you to keep the song in the living, waking world, keeping with things that have physically happened and the regrets related to mistakes made while awake. My preferred interpretation is a combination of both the waking and dream worlds. Watson even uses the word “dream” in both verses and the refrain “If only I could dream we could start again.” But we all know that “dream” has two meanings. You can be referring to something in our waking life we really, really want. Maybe it is that person we’ve fallen in love with. Or a career we’ve always wanted since we were small but seems impossible. Or that sportscar we saw in a magazine that we had our heart set on but could never afford. We are fully cognisant in our acknowledgment of those dreams, however unattainable or not.

The other meaning of “dream” is literally the action of dreaming while we’re asleep, when our minds are (usually) in relative peace and harnessing the subconscious and unconscious. In other words, the stuff we may be thinking about deep down but trying to shove aside and forget is what often comes alive in our dreams. In verse 1, Watson sings of closing his eyes and seeing the love of his life singing a song that he he’ll forget, “I always forget.” This suggests that he’s referring to bedtime dreaming, not daydreaming, having acknowledged he’s trying to hold on to something he saw of her in a dream, because he forgets what happened in the dream, like most people do. Further, he goes on to say “I try to trick myself back to sleeping“, because he wants to go back into the dream and see what happens with the two of them. But alas, he can’t go back into the dream, he can’t rewind it. The moment is gone. And no matter what and where the relationship is, whether you think it’s in the waking or dream world, it’s all come down to a final point and he is stuck. He can’t go back.

The line “You pick me up, but I let you down” for me is ambiguous: if it was really about a dream he had, this wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense, unless he meant she had done something for him in the dream and somehow he didn’t come through for her. So I think this is unlikely. Now let’s go into the chorus: “It was so clear but now it’s gone, / I couldn’t keep my eyelids shut.” Surely this is about him dreaming about her, isn’t it?

But hang on a minute. Onion skin #1 being peeled off: he could be talking about having seen her in a dream and everything was “so clear” while he was asleep “but now it’s gone.” But nighttime dreams usually are pretty fuzzy affairs. Some people tell me most of their dreams are in black and white, which strikes me as quite odd, because I always remember what colour clothes people wear in mine. Could it be possible that he is referring to his waking dream of the two of them together, and that was what was “so clear” to him? When we have ideals about relationships, we often think the other person is going to act in a certain way, don’t we? We get upset when they let us down by not living up to our expectations. So he’s disappointed about what’s happened. They’ve had a breakdown, and things that were simple have now become stupidly complicated.

Onion skin #2 being peeled off: “I couldn’t keep my eyelids shut” seems obvious enough. Or is it? During our normal, everyday lives, we see things we wish we hadn’t. I have to change the channel whenever they’re talking about hostages in the Middle East, about people being shot for no good reason in my country, it’s just too much for me. This are extreme examples, but the way I see this line, he had in his head what makes for an ideal relationship and this is right in front of him while both of his eyes are open, thinking about what he has with this woman. When that something bad happened that caused the breakup, he also was confronted with the reality that this ideal relationship wasn’t really as ideal as he had envisioned. But physically shutting his eyes, he is denying, or at least trying to pretend that what he sees is not happening.

Imagine being cheated on and betrayed by your significant other and then having him/her confront you with the truth. It wouldn’t be so out of place to squeeze your eyes so tightly shut to block out the rest of the world. That imaginary world in our eyes, and the one that our minds create when we are asleep, these are safe places. Yes, you may have nightmares and bad things can happen. But you wake up.

In verse 2, he sings of seeing her dancing and being “just out of reach, just out of reach.” Again, maybe this was in the dream world. But maybe this refers to physical distance? I also want to revisit the line from verse 1, “You pick me up, but I let you down,” which is later modified in verse 2 to “You pick me up, I don’t wanna let you down.” There is something so touching to me in these words. He’s acknowledging how important this other person is in his life. I’m kind of imagining the feeling you get when you hear Josh Groban singing ‘You Raise Me Up.’ Regardless of whether you’re religious and believe in God or not, it’s powerful words knowing there is someone else out there, whether it be a real person or something else of a higher power, who you can count on. That is a huge comfort.

There is also pain in Watson admitting somehow he’s let her down. Was he responsible for the break, is he the one who betrayed? I think he must have been the betrayer or thinks he’s to blame, responsible for the crumbling of the relationship because he’s the one who wants to start over. Recall also that the title of the song is ‘Stay’: he wants the woman to stay despite what’s happened, further evidence to support this.

Why does this song make us feel so sad? Because we all suffer regret. And there are always times we wish we could go back to the way things once were, in simpler circumstances, when we felt happier. But people change. We all change. And when people change, the dynamics of a relationship change, usually irreparably.

But here’s a twist: if you haven’t watched the promo video for the song, do it now.

Hmm, right. So the video introduces another possible interpretation: I never saw this coming at all! At first I was like, what is happening? Why is he in the graveyard? Why is she looking awfully comfy in a ‘bed’ in said graveyard? And then later, why is the shopkeeper looking at them funny? Oh wait… She has been dreaming all this time about the man she loved *who has died.*

Wow. Just wow. That came out of left field, didn’t it?

As for me, I think the dream I had recently is telling me I need to visit Oxford. I’ve never been. Hopefully I’ll be able to do it sooner rather than later. I’m quite curious to see if what happened in the dream really comes true.

Song Analysis #46: Glass Animals – Hazey

Title: ‘Hazey’
Where to find it: ‘Zaba’ (2014, Wolftone / Harvest Records)
Performed by: Glass Animals
Words by: Dave Bayley

I first met 1/2 of Glass Animals last spring, interviewing singer/songwriter Dave Bayley and drummer Joe Seaward on the Saturday of Liverpool Sound City 2014. I won’t bore you with all the details leading up to the afternoon, but as I often say about the music business, things don’t turn out exactly how you expect them to.

Until one of my writers at TGTF pointed out that Dave had been in medical school before leaving for music, I’d never have known he and I had similar collegiate backgrounds. As you can probably imagine, it’s not at all common in this business to have majored in any sort of science before heading into it. The most common response when I tell musicians or music people that I have a degree in biology: a look of utter confusion, and possibly a chuckle of the ridiculousness of it all. It just doesn’t happen, does it? Come to think of it, at last count, I only know of one musician who went the other way when it comes to the medical profession, quitting music to go back to school for a medical degree to becoming a practising physician. Hello Doug Fink, wherever you are!

Anyway, so Dave (and the guys) and I have been friends ever since, oddly linked by this highly unusual connection. I’ve had conversations with other songwriter friends and nobody really likes to talk about their own music, with Matt Cocksedge of Delphic saying to me in an interview in Boston in 2010, “magicians should never reveal their secrets, should they?” In particular, I’ve never asked Dave what any of the Glass Animals songs mean, especially after this interview with The Line of Best Fit in which he says “I never go into what songs actually mean, in serious detail, to me, because it’s quite a personal thing.” I’ve had my suspicions – of course I did, running a site like Music in Notes! – but I’ve never laid any of them out. Until now. Two tracks on the debut album – ‘Pools’ and ‘Hazey’ – seem pretty obvious to me, so I’ll be giving my thoughts on the second one today.

In what can only be described as a revealing turn of events, Dave spells out generally what their last single ‘Hazey’, from their Wolftone debut album ‘Zaba’, means in the press sheet for the release. I imagine someone in their inner circle suggested he provide the meaning of the song in an attempt to help explain the seemingly unrelated music video. It stars The Solitary Crew, a London-based dance collective who use a dance practise called bone breaking to make their street dancing style “more fluid.” Very rarely does an artist come out and explain what his/her song means, so take this golden opportunity and read on:

Every day these dancers put themselves through torturous stretches and contortion exercises using ropes and towels to make themselves more flexible and their movements more fluid. They isolate themselves and focus on slowly building their craft, with a long term goal of being able to add another dance-move to their catalogue, and a longer term goal of stitching those moves together into something cool and beautiful. It all requires a huge amount of dedication and discipline.

To me, ‘Hazey’ is about a parental character who has abandoned those values and eventually becomes wracked by regret. That character speaks in the choruses in the falsetto voice. The verses are spoken by that character’s child in full voice. This boy has matured quickly to pick up the pieces dropped by his parent. It was his attitude that I thought was summed up by the bone breakers.

While these words helped me refine my original thoughts on what the song was about, to be honest, they also brought up even more questions. It’s kind of like ‘Hazey’ is in this weird no man’s land in my mind where half of it agrees better with my interpretation, with the other half fitting better with his. Further, no-one’s paying me to come up with music videos but given the emotional content of the song and the way it’s affected me, I would have done something less abstract for the promo for a more powerful effect. I suppose though that the abstractness of the video agrees with the evasiveness interviewer Huw Oliver detected in his TLOBF interview. Since I have the advantage of having Dave’s explanation of the song in the context of the video, I’ll refer back to his words in my analysis.

I’d also like to note that ‘Hazey’ was the last track to be added on to ‘Zaba’ at the eleventh hour, with Dave’s pet rabbit supposedly contributing synth notes to it. I have to wonder if their second album is going to sound more like ‘Hazey’ and less like the other new (read: other than ‘Cocoa Hooves’) tracks on the album, as the more I listen to ‘Zaba’, the more it feels out of place. Except for the bird calls at the start and a monkey hooting in the second verse, ‘Hazey’ is noticeably devoid of animal noises that are more liberally peppered throughout. It also bears some rhythmic resemblance to Dave’s uber cool remix of fellow Harvest Records labelmate and massive American star Banks’ ‘Drowning’. I think we’ve all thought about where Glass Animals might go next for that difficult second album and if I had to guess, I’d say in this direction.

First, the words:

Verse 1
your baby’s fallen
you know I’m talking now
you know I’m dancing
you know I’m racing round

no no you’re so juiced
you said you’d kick the booze
you know I’ll get bruised
you know I’m just a boy

Chorus
come back baby don’t you cry
don’t you drain those big blue eyes
I’ve been crawling
come back baby don’t you cry
just you say the reason why
I can calm you

Verse 2
you say I’m bawling
I say I’m begging while
you take my photo
I fake my breaking smile
I’m fuckin loco
I can’t get through to you
you turn your nose you
spark up and I can go

Chorus
come back baby don’t you cry
don’t you drain those big blue eyes
I’ve been crawling
come back baby don’t you cry
just you say the reason why
I can calm you

Now, the analysis:

As someone who trained for a time as a singer, I don’t really understand falsetto: why is it ever needed, and why would anyone want to subject their vocal chords to the abuse? (Let me explain: I have an alto singing range, so trying to sing in a register higher than is normal and what my vocal cords allow me to do normally is abhorrent.) I find it even weirder when men do it (talk about being really unnatural), but looking at the kind of popularity Prince and Wild Beasts enjoy, who am I to judge? However, as described in the quoted section above, the falsetto in ‘Hazey’ is used to indicate an older father / paternal figure, so there are two roles represented in the song.

I should probably first give you what I thought this song was about and how it plays like a video inside my head. The mentions of being “so juiced,” someone trying to “kick the booze,” followed by encouragement to “spark up” (marijuana use) later on in the song said to me this was a song about addiction. The explanation made more sense, I thought, given that during Bayley’s medical training he spent some time working with psychiatric patients, as well as the fact that their song ‘Black Mambo’ was originally titled ‘Crystal Meth’ (well, until their label had a cow about it), as it had been inspired by the Breaking Bad tv series.

For simplicity’s sake in my explanation, I’m going to assume the voice of the song is of a woman, as that’s what I assumed was the point of Bayley using the falsetto in the first place, to show different emotions in the same person. (You see where I started to get confused?) What also seemed obvious to me after repeated listenings – the beats on this track are massive – was that it was about this woman in a relationship with an addict and how frustrated and disappointed she was with her user boyfriend who has failed to kick the habit.

In the first half of verse 1, she’s explaining how the situation has caused her to metaphorically fall and crumble – “your baby’s fallen” is said to him – though she tries to keep going – “you know I’m dancing” and “you know I’m racing round” – trying to pick herself up every time and persevere despite the difficulties. She realises her vain attempt in trying to talk to him, “you know I’m talking now,” knowing she’s not being heard.

The second half of verse 1 gives more support to the addiction part of this relationship. “no no you’re so juiced” – she recognises he’s hopped up and high on something. “you said you’d kick the booze” shows her frustration: he promised her he’d get off the alcohol, but judging from his current state, he hasn’t changed. “you know I’ll get bruised” – she’s emphasising that him using hurts her. The line “you know I’m just a boy” confused me, as it didn’t fit in with the rest of my theory that it was all from the perspective of the addict’s partner; I assumed it was a one-off line the addict said to his girlfriend, like the scorpion’s weak response to the sad ending of The Scorpion and the Frog, a kind of “don’t blame me, this is just the way I am.”

If you take Bayley’s explanation that the non-falsetto parts are from the perspective of a child, the song becomes even more upsetting. The first half of verse 1 shows a kid, who through no fault of his own, has fallen down. I think this was meant to show the early years of childhood, when you’re first learning that transition from crawling to walking. Most children with responsible parents are picked up and guided. This kid has fallen and there seems to be no real sign that the parent ever helped him get back up on his feet. “you know I’m talking now” takes on literal meaning, as if the child has to tell his own parent, rather testily I might add, that he’s grown up because he can speak and with no help from him. “you know I’m dancing / you know I’m racing round” suggest the child is still young. As for the second half of verse 1, you worry the kid is being physically abused: “you know I’ll get bruised / you know I’m just a boy.” Physical abuse is not uncommon when parents are high or drunk, can’t tell what’s right and wrong, and act out while they’re under the influence.

Let’s go on to the chorus. If you take it as being sung by the addict’s girlfriend, it’s really sad. In the movie of this song that plays in my head, she’s cradling him in her arms and telling him not to leave, not to cry, that she’s going to make it all okay. I think that must be the hardest realisation for a partner of a user to face up to: she will have to be the bigger one, the stronger one, because it’s always darkest before dawn. She has to be the stronger one to get her addict boyfriend through all of the rough patches. If she doesn’t, she will lose him.

However, if you look at the chorus sung by the father, it’s being sung in one of those dim moments of realisation of what he’s done to his child. He sees the tears in his son’s big blue eyes and is remorseful. There is some desperation to “come back baby don’t you cry,” for he knows his own son shuns him for what he’s done, for his weakness as an addict. I am, however, bothered by the words “just you say the reason why / I can calm you,” because these lines work better if they’re being said from the addict’s girlfriend’s point of view rather than from the abusive, addict father. The father knows why the son is upset and crying. Maybe his paternal instinct has kicked in? Also, if you want to bring in the point from verse 1 about the child going from crawling to walking, perhaps “I’ve been crawling” is the father’s admittance that now he understands how it feels to be weak and he regrets not being there when his own son was young.

It’s in verse 2 that I could sort of see this father/son relationship. What do all parents do when their kids are young? Take photographs of them. Lots of them. Here is this kid, so upset about his father’s addiction problem, crying, and his father’s trying to take a photo of him? Oh geez. I suppose he’s trying for some normalcy. If you read verse 2 as being such by the addict’s girlfriend, maybe the addict is a photographer or has a photography hobby, and part of his attempt to keep their romantic relationship intact is to be normal and take photos of his lady love. (Again, I’m talking about that film I have up in my head…) Who is taking the photos doesn’t matter. What’s more important is that the subject – either the son or the girlfriend – is upset, crying his/her eyes out, trying to pretend all is fine: “I fake my breaking smile.” Except all is not fine. He/she can’t take it anymore – “I’m fucking loco / I can’t get through to you” – and he/she is waiting, sadly, for the addict to light up and get out of his/her face. He/she knows that when the addict is fully consumed by the object of addiction, whether it be drugs or alcohol, he/she can plot an escape.

I’ve ended the lyric analysis on the sad image of escape, because this is what I gathered from Bayley’s explanation that he wanted the bone breaking of these dancers to represent the “attitude” of the child, “This boy has matured quickly to pick up the pieces dropped by his parent.” Although what the dancers are doing to their bodies is a means to an end, what they’re doing is painful. What I already had in my head of what ‘Hazey’ meant before we were given the explanation was heartbreaking enough, when used in the context of a romantic relationship between a man and a woman being ripped apart because of addiction. Thinking about it from the perspective of an addict father and his son, with the addition of physical trauma and the child’s need to escape from him, makes the story all that more powerful. And to be able to put so much in so few words is pretty impressive too.

Lastly, the song in promo form, starring the aforementioned Solitary Crew. If you want to risk more confusion with interpreting the song with a sped up version of the song as they perform it live (this time at Glastonbury 2014), you can watch that live version here. While I enjoy seeing the band live and the live version of ‘Hazey’ is a fun one to witness in person, I still prefer the album version.